Who Am I?

Who Am I?

I don’t know who I am.
Torn between the people that I should be.
Unclear on where I want to be heading.
Yet I know I shouldn’t be here.

I sit here trying to remember.
Who I was when it all began.
Instead what flashes in memory.
Are different times and different songs.

I know I have potential
I know I have to be somebody
Its the who that eludes me
In my search for immortality

Obsessed with being the best
Always aiming to please
Doing a million things at once
Trying to find inner peace

Thought it would get better with time
That my confusion would recede
Instead the fire within burns fiercer
As does my desire to exceed

I was such a good kid
I guess I forever will be
Yet something tells me that
the person you know ain’t me


(sometime in 2005)

About the blog:

This is basically the manifestation of my already highly inflated ego and my desire to vent. Recently I’ve been cramped with work, studies, side business and million other small things that I’ve become crowded in the head. This state of sleep deprivation, exhaustion and confusion often brings out the artist in me. This blog will mainly be a talent archive (self-tribute; arrogant.. I KNOW!!) as well as intermittent shout outs about wild happenings in our beloved Cairo.


37 thoughts on “Who Am I?

  1. that’s so expressive !! it’s like a channel to your soul, that we can see clearly how u think and feel about urself, we are all searching for that inner peace, i keep wondering is the person i am now is the one? or still to come? or the one i used to be? when will i settle, i think of tht so much too, sometimes i feel i wont reach an answer…time will prove:)

  2. The mind wants an identity for the being
    The being according to the mind is lost in the form.
    The mind wants it because it is required for the mind to exist.
    It wants the form to appear bigger than the being.

    The mind is creating the torture
    The heart is unable to bear the pain
    It breaks out and that is this poetry
    The heart’s truth is always beautiful.

    The being is not at all disturbed by all these.
    The being is bigger than the mind and it’s torture
    The being is stronger than the heart and it’s poem
    So the being is silent

    Just BE


    Josho vishnu murcharya murray

  3. every time I attempt to leave your page, something catches my eye and pulls me back…frankly, I’m looking for your name!…so I found “Who Am I?” instead…I went in hopping you had your name in this one…I love your poem…check your second line/first stanza (between)…I’m in a hurry, so I’ll try to make this my last comment…hoping I’ll find your page again…so salaam for now.

  4. Askandarani: Yeah 2008 on commodities, nice to know I’m not alone in my mysery. I must admit though, the book is a fascinating read!

    Amal: Awwww, thanks for the heads up about the typo, you’re too sweet. By all means comment all you like!

  5. I tried so many times
    To know whom you call you
    But seldom did I attain
    More than a spotted stain

    With words you weave your way
    With poems you write your path
    But do they really draw
    The true and naked lane?

    You hide behind the rhymes
    You cover yourself with nouns
    Is it that cold inside
    Are you through too much pain?

    I met you the weirdest way
    A face on a book you were
    But soon I realised
    That more of you remain

    A message, a call, a mail
    Is all I get from you
    It’s not enough, I say
    It’s too shallow, it’s plain

    I want to see your eyes
    As they sparkle away
    This digital dream that floats
    Does not portray who’s you

  6. F: Not sure where to begin. Well you’re definately very talented. I like yours way better than I like mine. I have a tingling sensation.. I can’t help but wonder, the style is very familiar… should I take the words literally??

  7. How is the style very familiar to you? You’d have to be inside me to get familiar with it…

    Oscar Wilde said “He lives the poetry that he cannot write. The others write the poetry that they dare not realise”… You are free to take the words literally and solve the case with a surgical change, or you can think of this as just poetic wishful thinking and do nothing about it…

  8. You were such a good kid
    That might be indeed true
    But how do you know for sure
    the person I know ain’t you?

    Aside from words and games
    Behind the pride and wins
    Perceptions fail to paint
    What’s good, what’s bad, what’s true

    But wisdom says you should
    Transcend what’s viewed and read
    Look far beyond the face
    Of things, my dear, I do

  9. How was your night
    Slept well, I say?

    As mornings come
    Does sleepiness stay?

    Plain coffee or tea
    Maybe caffeine free?

    Bonsoir, bonne nuit
    Bonjour, nice day

  10. Ah, my royal insomniac
    I pray thou art well
    My sleep was pleasant
    Flattered you could tell

    Have a nice day too F 🙂 Wish you’d put this creative energy to blog entries!!!

  11. wish i had the time.. you know how my schedule is.. that is, of course, if you know who i am 😉 and i just gave you 2 huge hints in this post.. or 3 even! let’s see how perceptive miss blogger is.. (4)

  12. The style and atitude are too unique. If you’re not the man with the plan to take over the world armed by militant hamsters then I shall be shocked!!!

  13. then shocked you shall be! you have no clue who i am! and i gave you 4 hints in the previous message! how odd! i am disappointed!

  14. I stand my ground. I still believe that you are the corporate anarchist who’d give his kingdom for a couch. If you are not. Then you are in your right to be disappointed. Although in that case, I’m not so sure I would care.

  15. tsk tsk tsk.. your attention to detail is disappointing.. and your carelessness makes me think twice about continuing what we started.. your problem is that you live 2 dissociated lives and see no link between them..

    here’s a final hint-riddle for you:

    final riddle today
    initials of phrases stay
    remember what comes first
    as beginnings make words
    so does this give it away?


  16. LOL. While you’ve been generous with that hint oh wise one. I’m afraid it’s my turn to be dissappointed. You’ve got the wrong Juka 🙂 I know of no Firas!! Sorry that you’ve wasted so much time on the wrong blog!!

  17. LOL. That explains things a great deal. No, I’m not Sina. My name is Inji (as the blog name indicates). I worked with Sina in Cairo for a couple of years. Story inspired by that time, lead character’s name given to her!! Sorry you got confused!!! Did you like the story tayeb???

  18. oddly, i don’t know who i know anymore.. should i know the girl i know but don’t know? or should i know the girl i know but don’t really know? 🙂

  19. i guess my post belonged here, so it was deleted from the other blog 🙂 good morning juka! (sounds like what these new BMW voice activated car navigation system would say when you get in the car!).. how is my pseudo-digital-talented-friend doing?

  20. all is spiffy and jiffy from my side.. why would anyone contempate such a hideous idea? islands are made to be secluded, visited only for peace of mind, contemplation and enjoyment.. seclusion is not a detriment, it’s a quality..

    do you happen to have an email address? of course i am expecting the second thing that comes to your mind after reading this question, not the first 🙂

  21. Pingback: On Not Posting « Ramblings of the Disoriented Mind

  22. Pingback: Let’s See How Far We’ve Come « Ramblings of the Disoriented Mind

  23. Dear Colleague,

    The Arabic Network for Human Rights Information. ANHRI, is launching a
    new periodical .The new publication , WASLA, publishes bloggers’ posts
    and articles on current issues in Egypt and the Arab world. Here is a
    link for the first edition in pdf format:http://wasla.anhri.net/

    Your contribution to WASLA is most welcomed if you would let us quote
    from your blogs after your permission. Your prompt response will be
    much appreciated

    Best Regards,
    WASLA Team
    wasla at anhri dot net

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