My Alexandrian Nationality

The Arab Republic of Egypt is conspiring against me to try and take away my Alexandrian nationality.

You would say that this is a tall tale as there is no such thing as an “Alexandrian” nationality, but the government seems to think there is one!

I’m Egyptian! To parents with national IDs with place of birth being Alexandria. Growing up my passports/national Ids have always had place of birth be Alexandria as well. I maintain the accent (which btw is faaaaaar more correct than Cairo lingo, 2al nizilt 2al!!). I spend every vacation moment possible on its soil. I dream of the sea. I have an Alex driving license. My car license plates read “Malaky Iskendereya”. We rent houses in Cairo since Cairo is temporary!

See, I’ve got Alexandrian written all over me! Yet I’m stuck living in Qaherit el Mo3ezz! Anyways! My passport renewal was due. I went to the lovely compound in Tahrir, where I’ve renewed my passport once before. Only to be told that she could not oblige. The new electronic government (Rabbena ye7meeha) is HIGHLY decentralized, to the extent that she couldn’t possibly fathom processing my request. Alexandrian? Go renew there! As if by being Alexandrian that no longer entitled me to getting an EGYPTIAN passport from any government outlet.

Me: “Hmm… ok… tab I’m currently living in Cairo, couldn’t you possibly process it, you’ve done it before!”

*Evil smile comes up* “No, this was when the two passports were the same.”

Me, with a very dumbfounded look “Huh?”

“Cairo is now issuing the new slick small computerized passport (which we are very late as is in issuing) which everybody should have by 2010”.

Me:ย  “Precisely what I want.”

Her: “Yeah, but in Alex they are still issuing the old one. So your options are as follows:

  • Go to Alex, issue a new “old” passport, use it for 2009, then go to Alex again, issue a new “new” passport.
  • Go passport-less till 2010, then go to Alex and issue new “new” passport marra wa7da!
  • Go to another entity, have my place of residence changed on my national ID (WHICH I’VE JUST RENEWED) to my temporary Cairo residence. Come back to her and she’ll be more than happy to oblige and issue me a new “New” passport.”

Case in point ladies and gentlemen, an Alexandrian nationality is not Egyptian! We might as well declare independence, raise the flag and hold democratic elections.

So basically, given my need to travel on the spot (work limitation) and the fact that it is difficult to make shuttle trips to Alex on WORK DAYS!

The Arab Republic of Egypt is conspiring against me to try and take away my Alexandrian nationality.

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19 thoughts on “My Alexandrian Nationality

  1. LOL! ridiculous! you are renewing your passport not issuing a brand new one! so whats the problem with getting it done in Cairo? 30qad
    btw it might just be the woman in the office you went to.

  2. Meemo: I don’t know what the problem is. Yet I’ve tried several offices with no luck. Aaaaaaaargh! ๐Ÿ™‚ I swear to God AD has ruined us, lulled us into believing things could ever be easy.

  3. the e-gov is a bloated word (meh, all gov ones are!), I work as a software engineer, on one of the largest (e-gov!) projects, you probably have heard of it, a title registry management system, and all we do is to program the crap into crappy software.

    we are not really allowed to reengineer their abortive processes, all we can do is make the stupid stuff work on screens, so that each and every fathead of those employees enjoy the luxury of having a PC.

    I haven’t issued my army exemption for the same reason, decentralization.

    Anyways, when you declare it free, I’d be happy to help build a sleek system :d

    BTW, I wanted to ask you if you happened to have any useful resources on novel/story writing? any recommendations?

  4. Ibhog: I feel bad for you. Rabbena ye3eennak! Welcome on board, Alex welcomes all.

    Hmm… I’m as raw as they come, just an avid reader. Have not really got anything scientific on novel writing, but since you’ve asked I’ll go hunting. If I find anything I’ll be sure to share. Will ask Marwa Rakha for you, she might know. I know there is a writing workshop in Kotob Khan Maadi which has been a great success, but only if you write in Arabic.

    God bless!

  5. Hehehe I never knew you were an Alexian. Yup our egov is screwed so is our non egov.
    You have another option, find someone to do it for you :-).

  6. Hah! Yeh I’ve had this problem myself except with Cairo telling me to return to the Republic of Mansoura to get my paperwork dealt with! Stupid!

  7. 3abirsabeel: Ahoh! Mansoura turned out to be a republic all by itself! ๐Ÿ™‚ I feel for you!

    7ad tany 3ando mo7afza 3ayez ye3lenha dawla mostakkela?

  8. Alex! land of opportunity !!! anyways you can issue a new one and i dunno if they would do it to the new model, have them staple the old passport to the new. this way they might take your password .. but they will never take … your nazaaaaaaaaalt!

  9. Mahdeto: Will probably do that! It’s the national id elly 7az3al 3aliha!

    Meanwhile, regarding pronunciation, don’t get me started on the whole zahaba allaylo talla3a alfagro theory!!!!!!

  10. how about a coup, anarchy fel tahrir! and during the aftermath, we can smuggle passports :d

    Write in Arabic .. to my dismay, attempts continue to fail, the last Arabic composition I produced was in secondary, so sad!

    I’ll try harder anyways, thanks in advance.

  11. It’s funny how the Egyptian government manages to twist each and every “improvement” into a new nuisance for the poor Egyptians! elli hwa ento msh 3agebko el adeem? tb 7’odo ba2a!

  12. ibhog: My Arabic is terrible too. Yet there is hope for us.

    marooned84: Aiwa, mesh 2adra afham atitude we kaman bet2ool saba7 elkheir dah!

  13. Loooool at zahaba allaylo!! Though you know I don’t have any empathatic (kont haktebha sa7 bel e bss olt a7’alleeha bel a, bema ennoh post eskandaraaani) feelings towards you being Alexandrian, I thought that was TERRIBLY MEAN! My advice to you is: email Dr. Ahmed Darwish! I’m quite sure en elli 3amalooh da maysa7esh!

  14. D: Well it appears your skepticism of my Alexandriation may spill over to real life as I’m forced to give it up! And YES they are mean!

  15. “We might as well declare independence, raise the flag and hold democratic elections.”

    wouldn’t that be the sweetest thing ever ?! ๐Ÿ™‚

  16. When I declare Port-Said as an independent kingdom (or a Grand Duchy. I would like to be referred as the Grand Duke of Port Said, Mo the First…) we should establish diplomatic relations. Even better, maybe even create a Mediterranean union, where everyone except the Cairene will be welcome.
    Nyahahahaha.

    Passport-wise: I KNOW! I have my share of passport and permits stories with the mogammaa people as well. (mine was issued in New York City….)
    First, know that there is a very nice 3ameed who heads the entire passport office who is very helpful. You can actually show up at his office and talk to him, he’ll help out (he has in my case).
    Second, my understanding is that Mogammaa is the place where we can actually override this whole residence location thing; however your address in the passport will be the same as in your ID.

    My advice – either do some forcing and try to push ahead, or renew your passport next time you’re in Alex, survive with another year of handwritten passports, we amrek lellah…

  17. Memo: Yalla! The national anthem is a new house remix of Zahma ya donya Zahma. Formal clothing is swim wear. Flag has a boat and a sunset on it ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m running for her royal awesomeness ๐Ÿ™‚

    Mo: I still think Edi Ameen had the coolest title ๐Ÿ™‚
    I will try your approach and keep you posted ๐Ÿ™‚

  18. Pingback: you zbeak Askandaranies? | deep dark inside

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