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I screamed at the top of my lungs, attempting to scare them off. Me tough guy, me scare away poachers. I wish! The gun fired again, an odd blue sparkling object was coming my way. It wasn’t till I was hit till I realized what it was. They had gotten me with some sort of miniature stun-gun. I was being electrocuted.
I felt the power surge through my body, volts of raw electricity frying every single cell of my being. I could smell the burning flesh as they roasted my brain. I bit hard on that ugly rubber mouth piece, hoping to block out the pain. If only I could bite down hard enough, perhaps I can make it stop. Tears ran down my face. I writhed in the thick leather straps that bound me down to that table. I could barely see through my own eyes, making outlines of doctors and nurses. I was gone.
Finally the session was over. I passed out on that hard slab, foaming at the mouth and worse for wear. The two orderlies must have carried me back to my room. I was thrown onto the bed and left to recuperate on my own. I woke up, quite a bit later, not sure how long. I slowly sat up, every muscle in my body aching. My nerves still a bit on edge, all my senses felt a bit out of whack. Things were too hard, too rough, too hot, or too cold. Like everything was hit by the Midas touch of extremeness. I was dressed in white from head to toe. I was a resident of this god forsaken place. A patient in a mental hospital? I couldn’t be! What kind of insane woman knows she is insane? I must be in some sort of prison facility. A master criminal? Or an ideologist; thrown into this concentration camp by the oppressive forces of the ruling government. Oh what romantic notions one has about being locked up. The room is simple enough. All white with a bunker bed at one end and a chest of drawers at the other.
There was a knock at the door. Since when do they knock on prison doors? Guess I must be getting the five-star treatment. Come in. I said in a voice that was as authoritative as I could muster. A young doctor followed by two nurses entered holding a clip file and taking notes. So I was in an asylum after all. How are we doing today? Well pretty damn, fine given you just sent 600 volts through my body you barbarian. Instead I just nodded Same old same old, nothing new under the sun. I stopped dead in my tracks, something felt eerily familiar about this context.
Well Sina, tell me about those hallucinations you’ve been having?
It all came back to me in a rush, Adam, the accident, the blood, the loss, the depression, the asylum, having to give up work, the suicide attempt, the desire to leave it all behind, to be anybody but myself. Yet I was unable to maintain this illusion in my sleep because I was bound to wake up. Then they started the shock therapy. Yes that’s it, the shock therapy, that’s what started it all. I discovered I could leap, my old self lying in the dust as I soared higher, becoming somebody else and living their life for a change. I discovered that the electric shock not only sent me away, but with every new shock I leaped. I was a goner for days on end in the asylum while in my head I was living the lives of other individuals, beaming from one life to the next. Everything came flooding back, images and memories all mashed together, I attempted to make logic of the chaos within.
I wanted to tell him all about it my newfound ability and my adventures. Yet something tells me I had already told him and that he didn’t believe me.
Time to try a different strategy. I took a deep breath, stared coolly into his eyes and started saying what I didn’t believe, yet what I knew he yearned to hear.
What hallucinations?? You mean my day dreams? Oh that was just a little exhaustion. I’m fine really, you can release me. I am Sina; I worked for the MTI, see; I know exactly who I am and why I’m here. I checked myself in and am demanding to be released or you shall be hearing from my lawyers.