Entertainment from South Africa

A friend of ours living in South Africa is here for the summer holidays. We caught up over coffee tonight. When asked about safety and crimes in their city she had the following story to tell which I found hilarious and amusing.

Thieves broke into the president’s house (while he was in it); climbed up President Thabo Mbeki’s roof and stole the embedded aluminum meant to protect the residence from lightning strikes. The 10mm aluminium wire, which had been installed in the roof over the past three weeks, formed part of a network of the house’s electronic fittings, including closed-circuit television cameras and computer systems, that was designed to protect the house against lightning.

“El Donya Talgaya fe Kobaya”

That was the nick of a brilliant friend of mine on msn. Not being able to resist.. the following conversation ensued:

Moi: Despite the obvious greatness of the posed philosophy who’s depth is wasted on the shallow minded, care to explain?

Dahlia (name potentially artificial) : ya3ny el donya mesh dayman ba2ya; el haga elly momken tebsetak lelahza ‘el talgaya’ hatro7 eventually ‘tesee7’

Dahlia: bas el lahza el sa3eeda dee is wat u remember; its the essence

Moi: ahah! it would already have cooled my ice tea in this godforsaken weather.. so it would have served it’s holier purpose!

Moi: COOL; I love the philosophy of it all.. you should blog it

Dahlia: lol. be my guest 2 use it, but e7faz el trademark

Moi: akeeeeed; what would you like your deepthroat name to be?

Dahlia: lol….dahlia

Smiles from my days in my city by the sea

Well, since you kind people have been generous enough and have born with me my disappearance days of fun in the sun, I couldn’t stop myself from sharing this with you.

mokarrar.jpg

Over the course of 10 days I’ve seen this sign on a daily basis and it never ceased to put a smile on my face. First time I saw it I actually had to do a double take. It’s not like they could run out of names.. or numbers for that matter. Honestly very thanaweya 3amma score.

I know the resolution sucks. The sign reads “Shati2 Sidy Bishr 2 Mokarrar”!!!!!!!!! LOOOOOOOOOOOL

My car hates me

This was in Ramadan, but thought I’d share in an attempt to make Ravine feel a bit better about our lovely public transportation system.

Today ladies and gentlemen I had me nothing short of an adventure. The day that has started out so ordinary with a twist of fate managed to encompass such a large number of highs and lows they formed the outlines of a marvelous adventure. I had bitched all day about having to be at two places at the same time for iftar, I got an instantaneous reality check and didn’t make it to either iftars and ended up eating in the street. I had it coming.

I had stayed after work to meet up with old friends, one of us headed home and me and the other got into my car and headed for Mohandseen. As we got into my car the engine hum was lightly louder than usual. I didn’t take it to heart, figured it was just the acoustics of the garage. I turned on the AC, cranked up the stereo and took off. I didn’t get far though, at the first traffic light in Tahrir square my car stopped. I tried to start it several times but to no avail. All of a sudden we were grounded in Tahrir square. Cars behind us started to honk and we made friends with the young police officer at the traffic light. We called our friend for help. He was already two metro stations away, he turned and came back. Another I interrupted his stay at Gezira club and he too came to the rescue.

As we waited for our knights in shining armor to show up every single driver and taxi driver in the neighborhood stopped and took a look at our stranded situation and put their 2 cents in. The policeman made considerable effort to inform the other cars to stay clear of us because our systems were down. We tried to get the car to start “amricany”; push and leave (like learning to ride a bike) while executing a complicated maneuver with gear shifting and turning the ignition while hitting the brakes. That kinda got us moving for a while. We got halfway around the square and ended up in front of Kentucky.

My other friend arrived at this point with jump start cables and we tried to jump start the car, needless to say that didn’t work either. We were threatened by the local police, given the option to have it towed to the nearest parking or removed entirely because the Minister of Interior was passing through. (I’d comment but I’m fasting). We had sent for the local mechanic, a young swindler who turned out to be a complete jerk and a total ignoramus (IDIOT). He tinkled around my engine for 2 hours before iftar. We then had to push the car to his shop, close it and go eat at Mc Donalds.

Ever seen Tahrir square empty in a way that you could walk in the middle of the street. I have, its 5:20 on a Ramadan day. It was actually nice, in the middle of this madness, strolling in Tahrir square while they messed with my engine, enjoying the sunset. What a sunset it was, the blazing sun descending into the clouds and casting shadows of red and orange on all the building.

I am anything but a McDonald’s fan, I really hate the place, I’m a devout Burger King/ Hardees fan. For years I’d heard AUCians claim that their McDonald’s is better than any other in the country. They could be right, I couldn’t tell, we were so tired and so hungry we would have ate anything.

After our meal we went back to the mechanic for another hour, he failed at the mission to fix my car. We had him close up and called a tow truck. The tow truck couldn’t reach us, so I had to meet him at the square and maneuver him to my car arriving high and mighty riding that tow truck. It was a fun experience, I felt like a young kid riding on a fire truck.

What happened next was even more interesting, 2 ramps descended from the truck and we pushed my car up to be sitting on the truck. We then climbed up and into my car. Never before in my life have I had such a royal view. We sat in my car with the windows down and stereo on. It was amazing fun, I was constantly hitting the brakes out of habit and we were driving from our high and mighty seat by signally to the driver. We were quite the attraction, people stared as we drove by and some even commented and tried to make conversation.”

My adventure ladies and gentlemen, mind you, is anything but over. I have to get up tomorrow at the crack of dawn to look for a mechanic with a brain and a very pricy spare part.

Special dedication and great thanks to Amr, Dina and Sherif. My partners in crime and the co-conspirators of this adventure. Thanks for coming through for me. On a final note, chivalry is not dead, it has just retracted and become concentrated in a small number of select individuals many of whom I’m proud to call my friends.

Sorry for ruining your day guys;thanks a million.

Desperate Housewives

susan.JPG

A friend of mine knows how wild I am about the show. She sent me the following link.

Yesterday I was frazzled about a Final and was Lynette, this morning while nice and relaxed I was Susan, to an entirely different set of questions. Either way it was fun.

 Try it out, let me know which desperate housewife you each were?

Have been forgetting to include these, but song of the day: Scorpions ~ A moment in a million years

Stormy Weather II

Continued from…..

Suddenly a fuzzy image started to appear in the haze that is my awarness. It seemed like it was round red lights. Dear lord, it was the breaklight of a Kia Sephia. I snapped out of my day dream just in time, I slammed the brakes really hard and my car came to a screeching halt. I could hear honks of disapproval all around.

I had not realized how long I had been out, the distant memory still hung sweet in the air, was a miracle I had not crashed, the lord is good. Dalida was through and now the stereo was blaring Whitney Huoston’s “I have nothing, nothing, nothing, If I don’t have you….”

Promised myself to be a more careful driver the remainder of the way. The rain had gotten worse. I glanced up at the skies.

FLASH.

It was my first day at a new school. I was a big girl now and starting 1st grade. I must have been four at the time. Was so scared, I so didn’t want to go. I missed my beloved kindergaden. I didn’t know any kids in this new school and the classes were enormous.

My parents had both come along to make sure I settled in ok. I was a very outspoken child with an opinion on everything. I tried to reason with them. Argue. Assure them that I would much prefer to be home schooled.

That didn’t seem to be working, so it was time to bring on the big guns; TEMPER TANTRUM. I screamed, wailed put my foot down all to no avail. I even turned on the waterworks and made sure I gave them a guilt trip for abandoning me there.

When all else had failed, my father made a suggestion. He said, why don’t you give it a try. Just attend the first class, if you don’t like it we will go home. Naturally I didn’t trust them, so I decided to bind them there. I left with them my lunchbox (could have been barbie that year, not positive). Figured they wouldn’t go home and leave their little defensless daughter hungry.

I went in and was soon engrossed in all the school activities. I had really found myself in my element and was loving every minute of it. It wasn’t till lunch that I had actually remembered that I had told them to wait for me outside. I ran out to see them, but I had been tricked. They had left me the lunchbox with the teacher and had gone home from the morning, certain that I would enjoy school.

Later that day they came to pick me up. They both looked a bit anxious not knowing how I was gonna greet them. Parents !!!(eye roll). Like I could ever be upset with them. Ran over, gave them both bear hugs and that was that.

FLASH

Stereo is now playing “I’m a big big girl in a big big world”

Don’t you just love a good collection CD !!

Romantic *NOT*

This compilation was taken from an internet site that held a competition for writing the most romantic first line and most unromantic second line.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl’s empty & so is your head.

After you, my love, my only prize.
Would be a bullet between the eyes.

Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face.

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you’re not.

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don’t take that paper bag off your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes .
Damn, I’m good at telling lies!

Every time I see your face
I wish I were in outer space.

I saw your face as you walked by
But then I saw a better guy.

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

Beauty is on the inside, but some may doubt,
If its true, I’d prefer you inside out.

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

I see your face when I am dreaming
That’s why I always wake up screaming.

My love you take my breath away
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe “go to hell.”

Song of the day: Avril – So much for my happy ending.

You know you grew up in the 80s when……

1. You used to buy cassette singles… and still have some stashed somewhere
2. You can sing the rap to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and can do the Carlton
3. Girls wore biker shorts under their skirts and felt stylishly sexy.
4. You yearned to be a member of the Baby-sitters club and tried to start a club of your own. 5. You owned those lil’ Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls (or your sister did).
6. You know that “WOAH” comes from Joey on Blossom
7. Two words: Hammer Time!
8. You had plastic streamers on your handle bars… and spokey-dokies or playing cards on your spokes for that incredible sound effect
9. You watched “Duck Tales” (Woo ooh!)
10. You (your sister, cousins) wore a ponytail on the side of your head.
11. You saw the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the big screen..and still know the turtles names.
12. You made your mom buy one of those clips that would hold your shirt in a knot on the side.
13. L.A. Gear….need I say more?
14. You know the profound meaning of “WAX ON, WAX OFF”
15. You ever wore fluorescent clothing. (some of us…head-to-toe)
16. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off and his cheeks shifted.
17. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.
18. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets.
19. You still get the urge to say “NOT” after every sentence.
20. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged handmade friendship bracelets.
21. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates.
22. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip and Slide.
23. You have ever played with a Skip-It or Elastix
24. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonalds.
25. You’ve gone through this nodding your head in agreement.
26. You wore like, EIGHT pairs of socks over tights with high top Reeboks.
27. You wore socks scrunched down
28. You remember boom boxes and walking around with one on your shoulder like you were all that.
29. You remember watching both Gremlins movies.
30. You know what it meant to say “Care Bear Stare!!”
31. You remember watching Rainbow Bright and & My Little Pony Tales
32. You thought Doogie Howser/Samantha Micelli was hot.
33. You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac.
34. You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool…and don’t even flinch when people refer to them as “NKOTB”
35. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on “Saved By The Bell,” The ORIGINAL class.
36. You know all the words to Bon Jovi – SHOT THROUGH THE HEART.
37. You just sang those words to yourself.
38. Homemade Levi shorts.. (the shorter the better)
39. You had a mullet!
40. You still sing “We are the World”
41. You owned a bannana clip.
42. You had big hair and you knew how to use it.
43. You’re still singing shot through the heart in your head, aren’t you!

Song of the day: Naturally 😉 is Bon Jovi “You give love a bad name”

DB Shobrawy’s Degrees of Seperation

I ran into this non-political article on DB Shobrawy’s blog. I decided to try my hand at the degrees of seperation. Turns out I’m more corrupt connected than I thought.

The objective is to count number of links (degrees of seperation between you and modern day celebrities).

Entertainers:

Hussein and Mustafa Fahmy (1)

Yussra (1)

Mohamed ِِAly (director of Le3bet el 7ob) (2)

Hind Sabry (3)

Khaled Abu Elnaga (3)

Mahmoud El3esseily (2)

Yussry Nasrallah (2)

Politicians:

Rachid M. Rachid (1)

Mahmoud Mohieldeen (1)

Youssef Ghaly (2)

Ahmed Nazif (2)

Farooq El Okdah (2)

Fayza Abu Elnaga (2)

Abulgheit (2)

Go figure, I know a good portion of our current cabinet. I’ve met some of the others on occassions, but that is not sufficient to constitute knowing the person.

I’ll be adding people as I remember them. 😀

Tagging Sou, OpeRon, Tarek and whoever feels like doing it.

Cheating

Hallo bloggers,

No, not the card game, I mean real live cheating. Back when we were students the worst we could pull off was bringing in tiny pieces of paper or consulting each other during the exam. This was years ago. These days my sister has her finals and the stories she has to tell make me eyes bulge in amazement and leave me not knowing wether I should repremand or applaud. They have a friend, let’s call him  “A”, who has managed to redefine the word cheating forever. The young man has really taken it to the next level and has managed to make the most of modern technology. I’m thinking if he put that much effort into his classes he would have been top dog by now.

In the Faculty of Engineering the exams are really long, some last up to six hours. As a result students are allowed to bring in food, drinks and hell even entertainment. You are not allowed to use your phone during the exam, cause duh, that’s a no-brainer cheat. Then again, who needs a phone when you can have your Ipod video. Here is what “A” does. He takes photos of all the slide presentations and necessary diagrams and uploads them to his Ipod as photos for easy access. Then he takes his lectures and breaks them down by professor and topic. He then uses a mixer and his laptop to record the lectures in his voice as mp3s, making sure to speak slowly and clearly so that he may write in the exam as he listens to himself relay the important points. By using clever categorization he is guarenteed easy access to any part of the syllabus that he desires.

I know!! WOW.

Disclaimer: Cheating is harram and you guys are better off studying :p

Royal Date

Dress, makeup & heels! This is so not me
I’m a nike-denim girl, totally carefree
But I am going for it.. just for you
I’d change a lot more than clothes if you asked me to
I cant imgaine that you are mine
In your perfectness..utterly divine
Will this date ever work? can it really be true?
Will you stick to your promises? will you follow through?
Will you ever love me as much as i do?
What a fool I am, you probably don’t have a clue
How much I wanted you since the first day i saw you
Could it be possible that you’ve wanted me too?
Oh dear Lord please give me strength!
For in every step my heart does wrench
I turn a corner and can finally see you
In shorts and sandals, awww, you’ve changed for me too!

13/9/2006
(Co-written with a charming princess).

Song of the day (a 2007 comeback element): Rob Thomas – Ever the same

5 things nobody knows about moi (can’t believe I’m doing this tagg)

Tagged by OpeRon.

This took quite a bit of thought.. here you go:

1) I honestly believe that Rowling based Hermoine Granger on my childhood, where else would you find a brilliant annoying geeky know-it-all teacher’s pet?? Where?

2) I’m excessively paranoid when it comes to my health, I always think things are worse than they are.

3) I always solve my exams back to front, I also read newspapers and magazines that way.

4) I played the saxophone for 6 month before deeming it a lost cause.

5) I always hate book endings… always.. irrespective of the book or author.. I’m under the arrogant notion that they (or of course I) could’ve done better.

OK tagged everybody on my blogroll and anybody who would be bothered.

100 things we didn’t know last year.

BBC’s Magazine Monitor has been tracking unexpected and interesting facts from the news. They have compiled a top 100 list of their favourite ones. You can access the whole list here. I’ve picked out some of my faves.

1. Pele has always hated his nickname, which he says sounds like “baby-talk in Portuguese”. 
 3. Urban birds have developed a short, fast “rap style” of singing, different from their rural counterparts.
12. The Pope’s been known to wear red Prada shoes.
31. The Mona Lisa used to hang on the wall of Napoleon’s bedroom.
39. The world’s fastest supercomputer will have its speed measured in “petaflops”, which represent 1,000 trillion calculations per second.
40. The medical name for the part of the brain associated with teenage sulking is “superior temporal sulcus”.
57. The word “time” is the most common noun in the English language, according to the latest Oxford dictionary.
62. Thirty-four percent of the UK has a surname that is ranked as “posher” than the Royal Family’s given name, Windsor.
72. Modern teenagers are better behaved than their counterparts of 20 years ago, showing “less problematic behaviour” involving sex, drugs and drink.
98. A “lost world” exists in the Indonesian jungle that is home to dozens of hitherto unknown animal and plant species.
100. In the 1960s, the CIA used to watch Mission Impossible to get ideas about spying.

LOL. Theme of Mission Impossible playing in the background. 😀