I think I’m living in a stereo loop cycle.
Do you ever feel that? That you are constantly living the same episode of your life over and over again. Kinda like reruns, only all the actors playing the characters change every time, the setting, the costumes, the time and the place. Yet you and the dialogue remain constant; timeless in your nature and disposition.
If the answers were yes, WHY? I mean what is it that we do such that over the span of a year I’ve managed to have the same conversation over and over again with at least 3 individuals. I’m leaning to the ego-centric explanation. Mankind is a selfish being with a God complex and who’s constantly on a power high. We need to feel needed, essential, all knowing, all powerful… practically divine. So we find a need that we manage to satisfy in humanity, then go out and literally hunt down people who seem to have that need.
Think about it, do your friends or acquaintances constantly have things in common, do you have a “type” so to speak? Do you attract that segment of society/ humanity? Or do you actively go after them? Do you go to great lengths or bear great ordeals to become part of their life? For them to see that you are a possible solution? For them to marvel in the magic you can perform, the insight that you can bestow upon them, the support and guidance you can offer them, the answers you can provide?
In reality, are you? Can you really make a positive impact in their lives? Have you before? Have you satisfied their need?
Lets assume you have, you’ve said the right thing, made the right moves, did the proper thing by them. Lets make an even grander assumption, lets assume you’ve solved those problems, I’m even going shed aside logic and better judgement and claim you’ve actually made a difference in their lives. Mabrouk!
No really, not happy? Not satisfied? Need more? So we go hunting for more?
Yet we are missing something here, why do you care? Why do you want to feel that adrenaline rush or power high? Is it really about the moment? I beg to differ, bunch of us are obsessed with our mortality, so we seek to cheat death, to create some sort of legacy that outlive our feeble bodies. So we seek to make a difference in the lives of those around us, in the hope of … well really lets face it.. in the hope of being remembered.
Then you sit here years later wondering why you are living in a stereo repeat cycle.
Disclaimer: Views portrayed here merely reflect the size of the ego of the disoriented author, for by the same token, you could be the one with the need and in constant search for satisfying it, for fulfilment, for salvation. Only these two scenarios are not really different. It is merely a matter of perspective.