At the end when you cut to the bone, we are all essentially the same; we are women of great expectations. I realized that sitting across the table from them, that despite the variation of our chosen paths we were quintessentially suffering from the same syndrome… insecurity…the plague of this century.
I never learn, I’m always surprised, as if it’s the first incident, as if I’m hearing it all for the first time. Women; amazing women; women of great intellect, looks, grace and social status; women from which you’d expect “I’m queen of the universe” attitude but whom never act on it. These seemingly spectacular beings all fail to see themselves in that light. Suffering from major esteem issues, seeking validation from the external world.
We are all almost the same age, typical quarter life crisis psychiatric test candidates. We shared the same fear, the same sadness so to speak, the same sense of failure and self disappointment. Plagued by unmet targets, un-achieved destinies, unrealized dreams and plans postponed or altered with an endless stream of plan Bs and contingencies as we strive to reach our goal.
I’m tempted beyond description to blame the goals, to blame our naïve childish aspirations, to claim that we had set our expectations too high, that we aimed for the sun neglecting the light-years that separate us. Yet I’d like to think that those far-fetched ambitious dreams were not out of reach, that we have it in us to rock the world, to reach the sun to have no limit. That it is not our dreams that were faulty but our rockets low on fuel, that we somehow lost steam or got lost along the way. ~ To Each Her Own
I am one for shameless self advertising. Yet I assure you that this is not one of these incidents. I’m just stunned at how rapidly and how intensely this theme is taking over my life. My entire 9 to 5 circle fits the above description to a T. I find myself baffled and speechless over and over again. So decided to put it in writing, in public, in the hope that it would boost my credibility. Perhaps my ineffective commentary and irrelevant perspective would take on weight when backed up by this blog’s kind and generous readership base. Or perhaps we come across as more sincere and more convincing when we scream things louder. Consider this my megaphone.
The top 10 reasons you are awesome (you know who you are mat-harageesh):
1) You are strong. I am in awe of your strength. I can not begin to imagine how you are able to carry the weight of all the drama and all the challenges and curve balls that life throws your way and still emerge smiling and victorious.
2) You are independent. You are not a spoiled brat waiting to have life handed to you. You are not clueless. You are on top of things. You can take charge and make magic happen.
3) You are stunning. Not workplace harassment, scout’s honour! Yet one would have to be blind or jealous to see you as otherwise.
4) You are smart. Believe me, that is not a compliment I dish out often. We live in an era of mediocrity and stupidity. Your brain and how it processes is a sliver of positiveness in my otherwise bleak outlook on Egypt.
5) You are helpful. You have a genuine interest in making people’s lives easier and making yourself useful. It is a blessing from God and a very non-selfish outlook to life.
6) You are dedicated. You would work through a storm and food poisoning and then some. I can’t believe the number of times I have had to beg you to go home.
7) You are spiritual. I love the simplicity and the genuineness with which you tackle the spiritual and religious aspects of life. It is non-superficial and fundamentally profound.
8) You are talented. Uniquely so, in all things related to design and aesthetics with a special focus on fashion. You have an individual style to how you dress and how you envision or dress others.
9) You are ambitious. You know what you want and you fight for it and you seek to achieve it.
10) You care. You get touched by the simplest things. It is flooring to the person on the receiving end of the gratitude.
I could go on for considerably longer but I like round numbers (a).