Dreading Daylight

For over a month now it would seem that nothing good ever happened while the sun was up.

I am dreading daylight.

Recently my job has changed, I hate what it has become. I loathe my 9 to 5.

I am dreading daylight.

With every morning, I open my eyes, stare at the ceiling of my room, pick up my phone and pray to God that it isn’t eight am yet, that I can go back to bed, that I can pretend it isn’t time to go. It takes every ounce of energy and will to get my feet on that bedroom floor.

I am dreading daylight.

I race my car to Maadi, lost in my play-lists, crossing off all the other things I would rather be doing today off an imaginary list.

The 9 to 5 themselves are too horrible. They pass extremely slowly. They feel like a lifetime. Yet once over, I don’t really recall them at all. Life is a blur. Daylight is a blur.

I am dreading daylight.

After-hours are my saving grace.

The Lord is good. Insanely and immensely so.

I am grateful for the after hours. Once the daylight is gone and I’ve survived the 2 hour drive home; it is now Me-time.

I am grateful for the activities that I look forward to week after week and which keep me sane and excited. I am grateful to my fabulous French tutor for her patience with my radical pronunciation and unflattering views of the logic behind the grammar of the language. I am grateful to my guitar! Yes ladies and gentlemen I am now finally the proud owner of a gorgeous Ibanez (more on my love in another post) and am taking classes. I’m grateful for Rotaract Kasr El Nile, the establishment and the people and the change we aspire to bring about. Finally, I’m grateful to my best friend for flying off to save democracy in the developing world and trusting me with his students for a couple of weeks. I found teaching absolutely exhilarating!!

I am grateful to my friends. Tsarina, BB was so worth buying just to keep in touch with you 24/7. The ITASU gang, the FEPS gang and all my unique and awesome friends out there. You boys and girls rock royally. I am indebted to the talks, the movies, the coffee, the concerts and the drives.

Yet then, the night ends and it is time to go to sleep, once again, dreading daylight.

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5 thoughts on “Dreading Daylight

  1. Sounds very familiar. But then take out the interesting extra-activities of the night.

    Oh dear God. What am I doing to myself.

    Although I admit, I am taking more time to invest in my family and friends.

    And not all my days are horrible. I like the teaching days. But I hate everything in between, afterwards and even sometimes the preparation.

    Oh dear God. What am I doing to myself.

  2. yes, it’s funny actually, for the highlight of your 24 to climax in the very minute before it strikes 2 AM! – yes I stay up this late.

    and then my eyes fail me towards the clock. I kill my highlight – my book, my movie, my writing .. and go bury myself in the pillow .. because of yet another dreadful daylight.

    As Rou once said on her facebook: leh ya rab maynfa3sh a2ra we akteb we a7dar cultural events we 7ad yesref 3alayya?!

    waiting for your guitar post 🙂

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