On Worrying

You worry too much.

Guilty!

Moreover, I understand where you are coming from, for worrying is by far the most selfish of human sentiments. Not to mention views of it being the most egotistic.

I’m a chronic worry-wart. I worry about most anything. Most of the time aspects which enjoy the greatest degree of worry and mental and emotional agonising don’t pertain to me per say. Worry is usually directed to the people in my life, “the circle”, those loved ones who’s well being makes the world go round. I worry about their health, their finances, their love lives, their family situations, their work, their studies and whatever else that may be in play.

I’ve been accused that my worrying stems from a condescending and patronising position where I believe they are incapable of taking care of themselves, managing or doing stuff right. That I feel I’m far more equipped than they and that I would do the issue in question so much better and hence I worry about whatever route their limited abilities have led them to select.

I actually don’t believe that explanation is true, I am willing to admit my ego is Texas sized, yet I try to keep it in check, I don’t think that this is the driver most of the time. I will grant you that it is a plausible explanation for why we worry some of the time. I just don’t think it is exhaustive nor is it the sole explanation. I have another one, not much more flattering though.

We worry, because we fear a less than optimal final outcome. No?

Ok, so one the one side, we are good people because we are worried about them, about the outcomes to whatever it is they are up to, we want the outcomes to be favourable, we want them happy, safe, healthy, actualized, loved, successful, stable and well to do. We want them all of these because it is them who matter.

Yet on the other, there is an underlying selfishness to our fears. We fear something bad befalling them, not solely because we are concerned with them. It is us that we are really worried about, that we will be negatively impacted by them having sub-optimal outcomes. Worried that our happiness is contingent on theirs. Worried about what our lives would be like when they are gone.

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