On Losing

I have the emotional intelligence of an 8 year old. I grew up in an extremely competitive family. A GPA of 3.99 is not 4. The sky is one’s limit. One must always play to win. Play fair, but play to win.

Now, for the past month, I have managed to NOT win at most of the things I’ve tried. I am actually currently the proud owner of a string of losses.

I did not make it into McKinsey.

I did not win the MIT business plan competition (albeit having honestly tried).

I lost a deal to S&P (and yes I realize how huge they are but it doesn’t make me any less mad).

I lost a deal to Booz and Co.

Will not give excuses, will not say how angry I am at how unprofessional the clients are being.

Yet the truth is, I define myself by my accomplishments, I am what I’ve done.

Now this statue of wins is quickly being eaten into by the worms of defeat.

I can’t take it anymore.

Dear Lord, I want a WIN!


P.S. I’m gonna go find me a PS3 and win at something trivial in an attempt to patch up the ego.


8 thoughts on “On Losing

  1. Well, I’m a person who doesn’t like being in second place myself.

    But I’ve learned that a loss or a series of losses doesn’t mean anything but a change of strategy is needed.

    I’m living by this moto these days ” You can only be the best by competing with the best “

  2. juka, I was not born in a very competitive family as yours, but I know how it feels to define myself with accomplishments. There is nothing wrong with that per se, but it’s hard to stick with that. It makes my mood volatile to factors that are out of my hand, and no gemini needs another reason for mood swings ๐Ÿ™‚
    Good luck!
    P.S. try Fallout 3 on PS3 ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. You’re using the wrong time horizon. What’s one stupid month anyway?
    I, for one, would start the evaluation with the new year – do I hear someone say MBA?? ๐Ÿ™‚ – or even with the beginning of your employment at your current company.
    Every way I look at it, you seem to be surfing from success to success, mashallah. So what if you fall in the water every now and then? (continuing on my silly surfing metaphor, maalesh. ๐Ÿ™‚ ) You’ll just wait for the next big, sexy wave, and win that one too.
    Hang in there. You rock (and you know it. ๐Ÿ™‚ )

  4. PS – I think our friend Ferinannnd here thinks you have ‘an original idea’. (and i don’t understand the rest. :-S )
    Gosh I love the spammers, they can be so entertaining sometimes…

  5. Belya: I am competing, I just want it to be fair!

    Mahdeto: I’m a GTA gal ๐Ÿ™‚ but will try your games.

    Nousha: Thanks princess. LOVED the photos. Congrats! I never would have taken you for a fellow PS3er

    Mo: I want to clone you and carry a minature in my wallet ๐Ÿ™‚ Thanks for the call handsome, you made my week! ๐Ÿ™‚ Water activities sound like fun.

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