Inspired by a chat during the Olympics over sushi at Sheboya with Alien Kitten and Earthling.
- National Anthem
- Opening words by El Rayess
- Army manoeuvres
- Pharonic themed dance with secondary school kids dressed up like Neffertiti and doing aerobics.
- Mohamed Tharwat and Afaf Rady (or some other previously retired female performer) sing some sort of medley of praises to the Rayess, accompanied by some kiddie choir.
- A band from old Egypt does a number involving Sufi dancing, Tannouras, dancing horses and gunfire (we are not responsible for casualties).
- A “Elleila Elkbeera” segment featuring the notorious “Arragoz” and Nelly Karim.
- A “3arroset elmolled” segment, also accompanied by the return of some long-lost celebrity.
- Amr Diab makes a day-view with the new and improved techno-house remix of “bel7ob etgama3na”, performed live accompanied by some hip local DJ and Wust El Ballad as backup.
- Olympic torch designed to look like a giant shishah.
Other things worthy of note:
- There will be sponsors! Who’s logos and branding will be splattered all over the pyramid side stadium and embedded into the segments and costumes.
- We will not be in sync and the government will have a hard time finding volunteers or people willing to participate.
- The logo will be pharonic inspired, with the 5 rings made to look like they were invented 7000 years ago. The slogan will be “for a better tomorrow for our kids and yours”.
- Security precautions will be extreme and they will get a scare every time fireworks go off.
- The ceremony will not start on time.
- All the celebs from the infamous “nawart masr” advertisement will take turns presenting segments.
- Youssra might sing, you never know!
- We will hire some foreign director to manage the whole event.
- The press will either hate it or love it. You can’t half-ass this kinda stuff, either you’re kissing ass or you’re not.
Hmmm, what do you guys think? Any potential segments we may have missed?