Summer Reads

Hmm.. well for the longest time I had been reading nothing but Finance, tons and tons of it. So the instant the exam was over I started catching up on my fun reading, as the stack of untouched shiny new books in my library had a hypnotising distracting effect for the duration of the study months.

So, a quick scan of the aftermath of an insanely hectic summer. We’ve been moving premises at work, undertaking the whole process of selecting a flat, designing the decore, selecting furniture and overseeing execution. Hence in addition to our normal jobs we’ve all taken on some (lets for the sake of the argument call them that) “artistic” duties. Moreover, we’ve been working office-less (also read out of my car, off my dinner table, out off the boss’ living room) and hence have been a rather virtual office.

I digress.. I, amidst some time off to myself and this madness, have had the pleasure of some non-CFA reading. Some overdue quick reviews.

1) The Unbearable Lightness of Being (June mainly):
See here for review.

2) ظل الأفعى (End of June – Beginning of July):

Youssef Zidane’s first novel. A short yet highly entertaining highly informative read. If you are fanatic or offend easy in any way, don’t bother. Book is a historical trip set in the context of a modern day marriage and the wife’s mystical correspondence with her ominous mother. Zidane shows off his knowledge and his vast reading as he effortlessly jumps eras, topics and cultures pausing at random bits of time to shed some light on forgotten beliefs and times. The book is an homage to the divinity of the sacred female; hence if the topic would be remotely offensive to you, once again don’t bother, your loss.

For a flavour of the book, see here.

3) Twilight (Starting Mid-July)

Ok, Stephanie Meyer’s HIGHLY recommended best selling international phenomena! I didn’t like it! Seriously. Yeah ok, spare me the tomatoes and the booing. I went in expecting a masterpiece and what I got was childish, obvious, sappy and naive.

On a side note, I found it quite charming that even when in FICTION, a female author invents the perfect man (brilliant, gorgeous, strong, protective, sensitive, caring and deep), her mind recognizes the impossibility of it and feels the need to make him a vampire! So basically the perfect human man does not exist OR whenever something feels too good to be true.. than he probably is a blood sucking vampire.. i.e. has a flaws big enough to outweigh all perceived perfectness. Figures!!

4) Eat Pray Love (End of July)

Going through this book I was sure it was written by a woman I know, it was her style, her life, her fears.. strengths and disappointments. I actually went to the extent of asking her if this was another of her mystery literature ventures. Yet she denies the allegations, despite similarities, upon further consultation with Google, apparently this Elizabeth is legit.

Anyways, book is a light read, a dumped hurt woman’s journey of recovery, self discovery; search for God, earthly pleasures and balance! I am on the fence on liking it and being neutral about it. On one hand, I have tons of pages I’ve earmarked with quotes I liked. On the other, I can’t relate to the woman. She is a tad light and a tad simplistic.. plus doesn’t really act as if any of it was her fault. I don’t know. Not very useful; I realise that, but I do promise to follow up with a post of some of my fave quotes and commentary.

5) When Markets Collide (current reading)

Will give you a decent review when done. Went through hell to find a copy following last year’s Euromoney conference where every minister in Egypt managed to end up quoting this guy in their speech. He’s CV puts wanna-bes like me to shame. On the plus side, for the first time in a long time I actually have a practical role model.

6) The God of Small Things (also current readings, I read in overlap)

I bought this based solely on the fact that it won the Booker prize. Woman thinks in beautiful imagery. Yet is highly chaotic and quite difficult to follow. I like how she expresses emotions, her descriptive abilities are sensational and heart felt. Oh and it has been ages since a book has kept me running for my dictionary so often. Props to her on that! She has an impeccable ability of finding the best word for the sentence, which also happens to be the most complex possible word choice Still early in the book, will give you more decent feedback when done.

So Gjoez et all, what did you end up reading over the summer?

On Non-Apologies

Nervous, oh so very nervous
Agitated and unrehearsed
I made considerable effort
To remain intelligible and coherent

You have my undivided attention
Well, any attention I have control over
I’m not devious, nor calculating
Yet here I am insanely over-analysing

I, as always, had set out to impress you
Made every effort, pulled all the stops
Yet you remain unmoved, unimpressed
My childish antics have made no dents

You smile, you tease, you disagree
Becoming self conscious, a tad angry at me
Take a number and join the club
I’ve never been more disappointed internally

Flawed is my existence, I agree, no contest
Endearingly, you tell me you love me
I hear your words yet fail to register
My twisted mind refusing to believe

If in my own head I have failed
Does it matter if in your eyes I succeed?
I covet a different sentiment
Perhaps some day you’ll be “proud of me”

You love me. No. You love the potential
That only you and I seem to see
It is ok. I’m in love with the idea of you too
A perfect unique immortal divine existence

Please don’t disagree. I don’t take it well.
Disappointment.. critique.. even praise.
Above all else, desecration of idols.
I won’t have it… I can’t handle it.. Please?

Wondering if we’ve reached that part of the story.
Where you give up.. or I inadvertently mess up
Historically, at the end, I’ve always been sorry

So consider this my public non-apology
Consider this.. a promise from me to me
To possibly earn that which I so aggressively seek.

Perhaps then.. I’ll believe it when I hear it.

August 2009

On Mazen’s & Sawsan’s

Are you ok?
No.
What happened?
It is over.
Would you like to talk about it?
I’m really quite fine but ok.

I got tired of trying to be his. I love him. I honestly tried. I tried to become the woman he wanted me to be, but I just can’t anymore. It is too difficult.

He’s been wanting to change you from day one?
Yeah, more or less. Don’t smoke, don’t smoke this particular way, lose weight, wear this, don’t wear that, drive this way etc..

Yet he loves you?
Unconditionally.

Hmm, not technically, he loves HIS YOU, a version of you that doesn’t exist which only he seems to see or recognize. Then he’s been trying to change you, fix you, tweak you into becoming her.
Exactly !! I from day one have been telling him that I’d love to meet her, this “Sawsan” which he loves, which I never am.

That makes sense. Your problem as a couple is not a mere difference in tempo. Nor is it a case of great expectations. You’re both in love with versions of each other that don’t exist. So madly in love with the fantasy that you simply refuse to let go. Why settle for you when he believes that with a little effort he can get you to become “Sawsan”.

You too are equally guilty, you’re not in love with him, you’re in love with “Mazen”; a version of him that he never was, a loving supporting version who loves you unconditionally, who isn’t trying to change you. When the fantasy is so close that you can taste it. When the change is so minimal you believe you are capable of bringing it about. You are both lost. Your love dead. You are both locked in a battle of wills each attempting the futile and the impossible.

You know what the saddest part is?
Even if you were to succeed and you became Sawsan, making him a perfectly content Mazen.. the love would have been all gone.. for Sawsan and Mazen are in love with two brand new fantasies.

Blog Tag Line

A friend asked me where the line below the blog name came from It is actually from one of my favourite songs ever, courtesy of Sou sometime in 2007.

So here you go, enjoy:

Reamonn – Star

Tell me if you got a problem
Tell me if it’s in your way
Tell me if there’s something bothering you
Tell me what should I say
You know I’d do most anything
You know I’d change the world
You know I’d do most anything for my little girl
Tell me if you got a problem
Tell me now what’s inside
Show me if you broke your heartstrings
You know you never need to hide
You know I’d do most anything
You know I’d paint the sky
You know I ‘d do most anything for you my guiding light

Cause you’re my Star shining on me now
A love from worlds apart I need for you,
You are my shining star, my star
A love from worlds apart I need for you,
You are my shining star
Once upon a time a memory
Once upon a time girl
Once upon a time perfect life
Once upon a perfect world
You know I’d do most anything for you my guiding light
You know I’d do most everything to keep you in my life

Cause you’re my Star shining on me now
A love from worlds apart I need for you,
You are my shining star, my star
A love from worlds apart I need for you,
You are my shining star

Just a memory
Every dream is of you and me
If I wish upon a star
Well I hope that’s where you are
When Heavens turn
You know you’ll shine you’re in my heart for all time
When Heaven turns you know you’ll shine in worlds apart

Cause yeah you are my Star
A love from worlds apart I need for you,
You are my shining star, my star
A love from worlds apart I need for you,
You are my shining star,
shining on me now
A love from worlds apart I need for you,
You are my shining star, my star
A love from worlds apart I need for you,
You are my shining star

Ramadan Activities

Dear All,

The Holy Month of Ramadan is upon us. Rotaract Kasr El Nile is here to help you channel your generosity and the spirit of Ramadan towards aiding the less fortunate.

Projects in which you may pitch in:

1) Iftar Tareek – RAC Kasr El Nile’s signature Ramadan activity which we pioneered 3 years back. This year this project is being done across two governorates and 1500 packs will be distributed. Packs will include bread, cheese and juice and will be distributed at key locations in Cairo and Alexandria to those stuck in traffic or on the road.

We are accepting volunteers and product donations for the above.

2) Ma2idet Ra7man – for the first time this year RAC Kasr El Nile is moving out of Cairo’s overcrowded existence to less fortunate governorates where a Ma2ida will be more appreciated. Our target is to feed 100 individuals daily for the month. The cost of an individual meal is 10 pounds. So to feed one person for the whole month would cost you only 300 pounds.

For volunteering or donations kindly contact me or Tarek El Ashkar at 0101869260.

May the blessings of Ramadan and it’s heightened spirituality overwhelm you all.

Kol Sanna Wentom Tayebeen!

To Put This To Rest

“Friend” from this point onwards will be used to represent the views of a bunch of people near and dear to me  who have at different stages of the process had their input sought or felt the need to throw their 2 cents in.

The Beginning:

Friends: Mabrouk, heard your MBA results are out. Congrats.

Me: 3.88 is not 4

Friends: 3.88 is great, plus at least it is over and you are not lost in the endless cycle of the elusive CFA.

Me: Tell me more.

Friends: 35% success rate.. almost nobody passes from the first time round, we don’t know anyone who’s finished all three levels.. basically it can’t be done.

Months Later:

I have been chilling for a while post MBA.. it has been a year.. my brain is starting to rust (roll your eyes all you like). Figured I could use a challenge in my spare time, I was starting to miss the classroom experience (I can literally hear some of you puking at this point). This was a mood that often accompanied my birthday and the whole year-in-review energy and usual self criticism and dissatisfaction with achievement tally. Psychotic? YES very..

Friends at B-day party: So what are your plans for the new year.

Me: I’m gonna ace the CFA exam.

Friends: December?

Me: Nope, June.

Friends: You realise today is Feb 20?

Me: Yes.

Friends: Will you take a course.

Me: Nope, will just read it on my own.

Another crazy friend: I’m in!

Me: Perfect!

On doing the right things for the wrong reasons:

Friends: Free to go for Sushi on Monday.

Me: No sorry, Mondays are no good, I’m meeting my study buddy.

Friends: I thought you were done with MBA.

Me: I am, this is for the CFA.

Friends: Work is requiring it?

Me: Nope.

Friends: Is it useful in your line of work? Would it increase your salary? Make you better at your job?

Me: Negative, unlikely and no.

Friends: HUH?

Me: I’m just turned on by the fact that people said I couldn’t.

Friends: Hmm.. well.. that’s not exactly what they said.. but good luck!

Studying:

Ok, so my study buddy and I only had 3 months to study for the exam and we both have 9 to 5 demanding jobs. So in the interest of time and due to the sheer size of our respective egos and our ability to egg each other on.

Study mechanism:

• Open book
• Start solving problems at end of chapters
• Discuss our answers
• Compare answers to solution at end of the book
• If more than 70% of answers are correct ==> We know this stuff, don’t bother read chapter.
• If less than 70% are correct ==> Make note to read this chapter independently when we get a chance at the end when we’re done solving  for all the subjects in question.

Exam:

6 hours of mind boggling MCQs.

Friends: How did you do?

Me: I really don’t know!

Pre – Results:

Friends: They out yet.

Me: Na-auh

Friends: Worried?

Me: LOL! Which answer would you like? Me? Worried? Naturally not, what’s there to worry about !! OF COURSE I’M WORRIED! I’m scared out of my brains and anxious as hell!

Friend: What’s the worst that could happen?

Me: Hmm. I don’t pass. I end up with a bruised ego.

Friend: Why would your ego be bruised?

Me: Cause I would have half-assed a challenging pursuit and failed at it! How average! How damn predictable!

Friend: Blank stare!!! No comment.

Results:

I failed! (for those who are allergic to the phrase.. I did not pass!)

Post – Results:

Scenarios:

1) Drop the CFA alltogether.

Motive:  I need to start doing things because they need to be done.. because they are useful/important rather than because I want to prove that I can achieve the impossible. (Damned superhero complex).

Friend feedback:

• Take the exam. It would be such a waste not to, you’ve already done the bulk of the effort.
• You are quitting? So unlike you? Minor setbacks like you always say..
• You have to fight, you can’t give up on something you want. All people fail, the only difference is the level of determination that makes you continue trying rather than give up. This is too easy and you can’t keep changing your life forever just to escape temporary failures. Calm down and get ready for the next fight.

2) Take the exam in December and pass.

Motive: 3end! Really, no other incentive. To prove to myself that I can if adequately prepared pass this cursed exam. Does in no way guarentee that I’ll go on to take levels 2 and 3.

Friend feedback:

• Knowing you, you’d find some psychotic way to spin this into a non-achievement. Since after all, what’s the big deal, everybody passes their second trial, challenge would be all gone. (She’s brilliant and she’s got me pegged).
• That’s the spirit!
• Don’t take courses though, those who took them didn’t pass either.
• Look at the bright side, exam is in Abu Dhabi, think shopping spree

3) Take the exam in December and fail yet again.

Personally: I don’t think my ego (which is now already black and blue and badly bruised) could take that. I’m not that secure, honestly!

Friend feedback:

• Not gonna happen! (Kindly note that they said that about my first trial as well, people tend to overestimate yours truly).
• Pessimistic aren’t we?
• How about a completely different scenario? You take it again, you fail again, you never give up, THAT is my Juka. (I honestly wish I was the person she thinks I am.)

I don’t know what I’m going to do, but sitting on our living room couch, none of the scenarios seem appealing.

On Behalf of the Fishes

Last night in a girlie outing, conversation steered towards how the zodiac sign of a person affected their attitude towards a relationship. It was claimed, and I quote:

Pisces would be perfectly fine swimming along, things going well in a relationship, then they’d decide to roll over and die and that would be the end of it.

I smiled, an automated response, and argued that the rolling over and dying is never that sudden and is really quite gradual.

After having a while to contemplate it, decided to write on behalf of the fishes, explaining how and/or why, for I assure you, there is always logic to our madness.

I think Elizabeth Gilbert put it beautifully:

“If I love you, I will carry for you all your pain, I will assume for you all your debts (in every definition of the word), I will protect you from your own insecurity, I will protect upon you all sorts of good qualities that you have never actually cultivated in yourself and I will buy Christmas presents for your entire family. I will give you the sun and the rain, and if they are not available, I will give you a sun check and a rain check. I will give you all this and more, until I get so exhausted and depleted that the only way I can recover my energy is by becoming infatuated with someone else.”

We are that extreme and that intense. Moreover we are that spaced out and deluded. You see, we never really loved you, per say, we loved a version of you that only we saw. We, for all practical purposes, only saw the good in you, the finest possible version of you that you could be, and fell in love with that. Moreover, we idolised that version, put you on a pedestal and treated you like Helen of Troy (or Hercules.. depending on your perspective) and then some.

Then we love you with great dedication and passion. We would support your dreams, go out of our way to make your life a little easier, make it our mission in life to impress you and keep you happy. We become caring and attentive, we whom by the way usually don’t give a damn about much. We listen! A rarity in this world. Moreover we understand. Once again, I can’t phrase it better than Liz already has above, but it is insane the measures we would go to when in love.

Trick is, amidst this shower of niceties and public displays of affection, we often become so consumed with pampering you, that the relationship is no longer balanced. We have just spent months (in a best case scenario) telling you how perfect you are, how flawless, how incapable of error, how all your wishes are commands and how no matter what you do we will tolerate and understand. Yet unfortunately it isn’t true. We take perfectly fine potential partners and ruin them… spoil them entirely… then have the audacity to complain about what selfish flawed beings they are. Yet they are what we’ve made them.

Then the relationship becomes a burden, the actions that were so effortless before become a daily nightmare. The idols fall out of grace. We see them, as if for the first time, as the humans they have always been. By then we have grown tired of it all and in her words decide to roll over and die.

Only to shortly after hit repeat. Afterall, fish only have a 30 second attention span, its not like we were cats or anything.

On Not Posting

Since the unthinkable happened, a blog reader actually bothered to ask why this little virtual bubble is not being updated. Response: because I had limited Internet access for a while and now that I’m back, I’m in a mood that’s so mundane.. so done before.. I have nothing new to add.

See here , here and here.

Basically; I’m heading down that path again; I’m setting myself up to lose. That knowledge is of no solace and bears no impact on how protected I am or on the damage that this failure will eventually cause. In the same manner, knowing that you are in the pathway of a speeding bullet, doesn’t dictate that you will be spared the searing pain of it tearing through your flesh or the agony that follows.

Anyways, in the words of my favourite superstar “cat… chase… tail… outgrew”.

For that reader: “yet I still do not fix it.”

I Have Seen the Sun

I have seen the sun.

A simple claim. I have seen the sun. She went on to elaborately portray the scene. Her standing at her balcony observing the gigantic cosmic phenomena. Viewing the sun as if for the first time. Seeing it real close. Feeling its heat. Feeling the radiating warmth and energy. Seeing the sun up close and personal. Large. Domineering. Obscuring all other views. A vision in itself. The trees of the forest became tiny images on the exterior of the viewed horizon. She had seen the sun.

She witnessed the phenomena, the great sun hanging in the heavens. She identified it as a miracle, her ability to see it this clearly, devoid of any distractions. She stood there appreciating that sight; grateful for the gift she had been given. Fearful of what was yet to occur.

Without warning, the sun set. The glorious ball of fire dropped into the ocean below. She lost her breath and was overtaken with a wave of panic. She had seen the sun. She had lost the sun. As she had feared it had dropped from the heavens into the foreboding ocean below.

Clueless she applied that which she had witnessed to everything in her life. Deeming all good things subject to suddenly coming to an end. She became consumed with the thought that all good is temporary, all happiness short lived and all successes a fraud. She was predestined to lose all that is of value to her. She developed an extreme fear of tomorrow, of the upcoming second of the time when her suns will drop from their heavens into the ice cold water and die.

Only what she has overlooked is yes, the sun did set; only princess it sets every night. It is a sad but consistent reality. The sun at the end of every exhausting day drops beyond our horizon. No matter how strongly it shone or how cloudy the skies had been. It shall set.

Moreover I could say with equal certainty that every morning, the sun will come up again. A new sun if you will, but a sun nevertheless. A sun equally splendid and equally miraculous.

To a new day…

To you tsarina.

It is ALL about the context!

A friend of mine, a very bright young lady, has had enough with her current job and boss and is looking for a job. Only she has MBA payments which are giving her guilt complexes about quitting. Hence she is on a quest to get FIRED!

I, in the best of intentions, leave the following message on her facebook wall:

“How is the quest for the pink slip?”

Her response:

Asking someone who’s trousseau shopping about a pink slip in public!! Tub3an mo7′i ra7 lbe3eed! My dad was right next to me and I was blushing and tearing up min kotr elkessouf!!

THEN I REALIZED YOU MEANT THE JOB HUNT!!

Context people… CONTEXT!

I’m only going to say this once

Dear dear applicant,

When applying for a job kindly please note the following (and mind you, I’m not even HR):

• Please… for the love of God…  PUH-LEASE take the time to create an e-mail id for yourself that is some formal variation of your name. I can’t take anymore of the casual/funky/cool e-mail ids of the world!
• Don’t assume you know me! You don’t! There is no credit here… you don’t get to send me an excessively casual friendly e-mail asking about life, calling me honey and oh btw have your CV in there somewhere!!
• I don’t care much for cover letters, but even if this is my private e-mail and even if you know about this vacancy through friends, please have a little courtesy and take the time to write something, anything, in the body of the e-mail in which you’ve attached the CV. Don’t give me the impression that you are Frisbee free-style tossing the document in my direction!!

Lotsa love,

A potential boss!

Darker Shade of Me

Inclined to think that I’ve all dried up… yet here you go.. fresh from the archives (word files that never made it onto this blog)… enjoy.

Darkest Before The Light

Tired beyond description; just drained
All god’s creations, already blamed
It’s darkest before the light

When you feel no hope, don’t despair
Solutions will rise with time to spare
It’s darkest before the light

It is no longer about who is right
There are no reasons to prolong a fight
It’s darkest before the light

Take your hands to the air and pray
It will heal your wounds of the fray
It’s darkest before the light

When you wake up the next day
Stand up straight and say
Let there be light
And there will be.

20/10/06

Jibran

Mahdy has successfully put me in such a Jibran mood.

Here is the dosage I’ve decided to share with you today:

The House of Fortune

My wearied heart bade me farewell and left for the House of Fortune. As he reached that holy city which the soul had blessed and worshiped, he commenced wondering, for he could not find what he had always imagined would be there. The city was empty of power, money, and authority.

And my heart spoke to the daughter of Love saying, “Oh Love, where can I find Contentment? I heard that she had come here to join you.”

And the daughter of Love responded, “Contentment has already gone to preach her gospel in the city, where greed and corruption are paramount; we are not in need of her.”

Fortune craves not Contentment, for it is an earthly hope, and its desires are embraced by union with objects, while Contentment is naught but heartfelt.

The eternal soul is never contented; it ever seeks exaltation. Then my heart looked upon Life of Beauty and said: “Thou art all knowledge; enlighten me as to the mystery of Woman.” And he answered, “Oh human heart, woman is your own reflection, and whatever you are, she is; wherever you live, she lives; she is like religion if not interpreted by the ignorant, and like a moon, if not veiled with clouds, and like a breeze, if not poisoned with impurities.”

And my heart walked toward Knowledge, the daughter of Love and Beauty, and said, “Bestow upon me wisdom, that I might share it with the people.” And she responded, “Say not wisdom, but rather fortune, for real fortune comes not from outside, but begins in the Holy of Holies of life. Share of thyself with the people.”

The Unbearable Lightness of Being

When I started this book a while back (loong while, but it kept getting interrupted by other readings) I had promised Nerro a book review.

Overall I liked the book. Partially because of the simplicity of the underlying plot and partially for the beauty of the translation. I realize the book was not originally written in English, but it remains for the beauty of its construction, an homage to language.

The story covers the lives and interactions of four main characters and a dog Each time resetting to tell you the same tale from the perspective of a different hero or heroine, painting the reality their shade of perception.

My only reservation is that the author himself obviously has strong political views, they at times felt imposed onto the book. Otherwise the book was very reflective of a cultured and diverse author. One with profound takes on philosophy, humanity, art and music and relationships.

I emerged with a lot of pencil markings of paragraphs I wanted to share with you:

Anyone whose goal is “something higher” must expect some day to suffer vertigo. What is vertigo? Fear of falling? Then why do we feel it even when the observation tower comes equipped with a sturdy handrail? No, vertigo is something other than the fear of falling. It is the voice of the emptiness below us whit tempts and lures us, it is the desire to fall, against which terrified, we defend ourselves.

Indeed, the only truly serious questions are ones that even a child can formulate. Only the most naive of questions are truly serious. They are the questions with no answers. A question with no answer is a barrier that cannot be breached. In other words, it is questions with no answers that set the limit of human possibilities, describe the boundaries of human existence.

Anyone who thinks that the Communist regimes of Central Europe are exclusively the work of criminals is overlooking a basic truth: the criminal regimes were made not by criminals but by enthusiasts convinced they had discovered the only road to paradise. They defended that road so valiantly that they were forced to execute many people. Later it became clear that there was no paradise, that the enthusiasts were therefore murderers.

The characters in my novels are my own unrealized possibilities. That is why I am equally fond of them all and equally horrified by them. Each one has crossed a border that I myself have circumvented.

That last one, I couldn’t agree more. If you want a book with a lot of action to waste time and burn daylight reading, this is definitely NOT the book for you. If you want an excuse to think, experience Beethoven, art, politics, mid-century Europe and an innovative take on philosophy and humanity, I believe you will enjoy it.

Impressed..

… would be the understatement of the year!

I interviewed a young man today, for a vacancy at our company. A young man who’s CV was so impressive that he could practically jump off the page and dazzle you.

First thing that caught my attention was that it said “finalist at the 2009 MIT business plan competition“; the very competition I had not been short listed for. So off the cuff, this young man had beaten me at something. I with the unhealthy competitive streak. I who am obsessed with winning. So naturally I call him up and have him come in for an interview.

He walks in, now this is a young man who’s vision is impaired. He had grown up almost blind. Books had to be read to him. Yet this young man managed to keep the fire within burning, maintain his commitment to excellence, and do so well at high school that he was the highest scoring individual in his year! Awwal elgomhorreya fel thannaweya el3amma!!

He gets a full scholarship to the AUC, where he breezes through the 4 years with the highest of honours. He dedicates substantial chunks of his time to giving back to society, to teaching those less fortunate. Having realized the first of his dreams, he sets out to make his mark in the field of business consultancy. Lands a job at a major local player and quickly climbs the ranks within the company.  A couple of years down the line decides to leave it for a customer and is currently the brand manager of what possibly is the biggest dairy brand in the world.

Now this young man is only TWENTY THREE. Yet he has got more brains, ambition and drive than anybody I have ever met. His future is crystal clear to him and it is so bright it burns my eyes (cliche I know). When I asked him what his plans were, he said, INSEAD MBA when I turn 26, on a scholarship. Then a PhD from an ivy league university. Finally become a partner at McKinsey, Booze or Baine.

His dream? To walk the earth revered and leave it remembered!!!!!

What do you say to that?!!!!

I am off the charts impressed and VERY humbled!!!

Cat Fanciers Association

Back from the journey towards that elusive acronym.

Granted I’m doing it for all the wrong reasons, still it was educative and informative, and my self discipline has gone up a few notches.

A prayer for all of you planning on joining the ranks of those who Can’t Find Absolution in the future:

May all your questions be straightforward; may you instantly realize the difference between IFRS and GAAP; may your questions never contain the phrases most accurate, least likely, or closest to; may the definitions be obvious, the formulas memorable and the execution easy; may your first guess always be a correct one; may your ethics be in tune with theirs and may your calculator come through for you.

Finally, if you are actually in the Commission of Fine Arts exam center (then you know why I’m not blogging its name lest I violate one of their precious standards); may your answer selection depend on more than the fact that the past 6 questions were Bs and they wouldn’t have that many Bs in a row

Cheers!

Illiterate!!

I just spent my morning in Izzi overdrive with my eyes bulging out of their sockets and the word “SERIOUSLY!” on repeat cycle!

So I gave up my Alexandrian nationality, I re-issued a national ID with my Cairo address.  I xeroxed that new ID, my old passport, got photos taken on a hideous white background and was good to go.

Location: Agouza Passport Department

We stand in que to be given the application form. There are no surfaces which you can use to fill them. Be grateful for the invention of dry ink pens. You somehow manage to fill your form. You que again. You get assigned a window number. You que again. You are finally eye to eye with the woman who determines your fate.

Woman requests all the papers, takes one look at my ID and stops dead in her tracks. For profession my ID reads “associate consultant at Donald Duck and Sesame Street Egypt for Information Services” (or something to that effect )

Woman: That’s too long, I’m going to write “associate consultant at Donald”

Me: Hmm, either we write the company name or we don’t. I actually prefer we don’t. (I don’t have a track history of keeping jobs for more than 3 years, let alone for the 7 for which this passport is valid).

She: No, we have to. OK I’ll figure it out.

Dude behind her: Hmm, do you have a copy of your educational degree.

I hand him a copy of my MBA certificate.

Them in unison: We don’t accept certificates in foreign languages. Do you have a copy of your University degree.

I actually didn’t, didn’t think I’d need it. I had already submitted a copy when renewing the ID and they disregarded it and went with the job, so figured I wouldn’t need it. BIG MISTAKE.

Her: What does your old passport say?

Me: Student at the faculty of economics and political science.

Him: Since we have no way of proving you’ve graduated, I’ll just use your high school degree as a guarantee in case there are problems with your company name.

Me: I’m an IGCSE grad.

Him: Middle school?

Me: Was studying abroad!

So basically at this point I go psycho on his ass cause I can’t believe I need to prove educational information because he can’t make out what I do for a living. And apparently I’m illiterate by government standards since they have a language problem with my degree!!!!!!!!!!

So there you have it. I’m ILLITERATE!

If that wasn’t enough, she actually needed us to go to another window to verify that we’ve translated our names with honesty. Those very names and translations that appear in the old passport which she is holding a copy of and which they themselves have issued!!!!

The Darnest Things

I have focus/concentration issues. I’m not very good at doing one thing at a time. I usually play music to the background of whatever it is I’m doing to keep the sub-conscience entertained. This life soundtrack has been working so far. Only these days I’m experiencing the darnest thing. On a 24/7 basis I can see myself in my head on a backyard basketball court shooting hoops. This reel plays at the back of my mind while I’m thinking, talking, listening to music, studying, blogging, working and as I type this. I’m basically just going about dribbling and talking to my more conscience self as I take shots at the hoops. Jump shots and layups (wouldn’t dream of attempting a dunk even in a virtual sense). Funny thing is I have not played basketball since middle school, and wasn’t even that good back then. Even more hilarious, the virtual practice seems to be paying off as my good shot success rate is up!!!

On another note:

• They caught HER, but the police set her free.

 

• 6 hour CFA exam is on the 6th of 6 (yes I”m sure the devil has something to do with CFA exams)

 

• Oh, and I caved and gave up my Alexandrian nationality!!

“You could have been in my place!”

A phrase uttered with a lot of love, disappointment and reproach!

Only I strongly disagree.

I wouldn’t dream of it in a million years. This is not faux modesty on my part. Yet an innate belief in destiny.

You must realize that this was your break, your time, your win. Your well deserved award. You had put in the effort. You had paid your dues. You had it coming.

Your individual achievements have triggered a chain reaction of events resulting in our very conversation. In you being able to assume that I could have been in your place. Yet had you not been there, I probably would not have been there either.

My time will come. The moment where you could sit proud and watch me shine. Yet this was not it. I promise you to make a genuine effort to claim my goals and conquer my challenges. I will become all that I am meant to be… all in good time

On Being A Bitch

It is a gift, a blessing from God to exist in a perpetual state of niceness. To be able to be caring supportive and understanding all the time. To be an overall decent individual. It is a truly remarkable thing, moreover it is an issue of choice. One chooses to be all of the above or one chooses to be different, one may also go to the extent of being a complete bitch all the time.

The problem here, if any, is one of perception. Our society looks down on those seemingly NICE individuals, they are seen as weaklings with no personality unable to stand up for themselves. Can’t begin to tell you how untrue that is. The fact that one chooses not to be an obnoxious bitch is in no way an indication of their inability to become one if need arises.

It would take a lot to infuriate me to the extent where I would treat you like that; but if I were ever a bitch to you… know that you bloody well deserved it and that I most definitely am not in the least bit sorry.