I like to win
There really isn’t much to it, I just really really like to win. I’m not a malicious individual. I play fair. I would in no way try to sabotage your chances. I will not blame the fates or the dice or the cards or whatever luck activated tool necessary to the engagement of the activity in which I desire to win.
My friends seem to find this simple fact extremely troubling. It has taken them a while to fully grasp this obsession with winning. Surprisingly I’m not a bad loser, well, not too bad. I can find it in me to rise above the occasion to congratulate the winner, not sulk, and generally not claim that they’ve cheated or that the win is ill-deserved.
Yet this desire to win, at times, would appear to be the sole motivator that keeps me going. Work, study or anything else for that matter, only becomes interesting when it’s taken on some sort of competition mode. I live in a race, striving to beat out all existing and potential competitors. At odds with myself, my surrounding rivals, and all other previous individuals who’ve gone through this before and have set records.
This applies to MBA, any kind of study pursuit, work related aspects, and has unfortunately carried over into my personal life. Ok, I get it, I should be comfortable enough with who I am, confident enough in my abilities to not need to win every moment of every day! Yet that is not the case, without winning life just loses all meaning. So, if it’s not driving you too insane, let the child play, leave the child earn her win!
I assure you it really isn’t ego related, and it is not about being better than all mankind or specific individuals. It is about the knowledge that I have done it in the best manner it could have possibly been done! Otherwise, I’m not even going to attempt it!
I don’t think this a malicious trait at all. I found your post rather inspiring actually.
Where have you been woman?? Damned med school!
OB&GYN round…pregnancy is not a beautiful thing.
My business partner had that round in Ramadan! He was quite unhappy too! I am frail-hearted enough to have skipped med school! So I’ll just take your respective words on it!
[...] On Losing I have the emotional intelligence of an 8 year old. I grew up in an extremely competitive family. A GPA of 3.99 is not 4. The sky is one’s limit. One must always play to win. Play fair, but play to win. [...]