Prologue
Prologue
It seemed that corridor would never end. I had been sent by my boss to ask for some documents from the local archive. That has involved taking an elevator trip to the ground floor, to use a different staircase, to go up to the third floor, then criss cross between a maze of desks and offices to end up at the designated corridor. During that trip I had to dodge employees wanting favours from my boss, and walk briskly with a dignified air for them to believe my twenty three year old self actually worked for the Minister. Ah c’est la vie.
Finally the door I seek. I knocked. No answer. I knocked again. Being a really polite young lady raised to obey the rules of diplomatic decorum, my parents taught me never to barge in, but by the fifth knock I was desperate. I slowly creaked open the door; I could not see the inside of the room. I opened it all the way to find nothing but darkness. The room was pitch black, its darkness almost unnatural, as if a black hole dwelled within and was absorbing all the light. To this day I’m not sure what made me do this, but I took a step forward, a step into the unknown.
******
Ha…love your writing style!!
Kareeeeeeem
How grande of you to visit. Hope life has been treating you great.
The opening sentence seems short and the tenses used are a bit complex…example; “I had been sent”…too many verbs!…how about “The corridor was so long, I thought it will never end. I was sent by my boss to ….”
Some sentences are too short others are too long…you’ll probably fix it while revising…exciting so far!
[...] If you have no idea what I’m talking about, this is in reference to comments about my first short story, page to your right, or link here. [...]
[...] of the disoriented mind by Juka. She is smart, funny and writes short stories. I promised to cite her as my role model when she scratches something off her bucket [...]
I’m cool | Chocolate Mints In a Jar said this on December 3, 2008 at 2:49 pm |